A Journey of Remembrance, Service & Hope
Honoring Every Moment. Supporting Every Family.
Through NILMDTS, I help support families experiencing pregnancy, infant, and child loss by helping coordinate compassionate remembrance photography throughout the Oklahoma City and Tulsa areas. This page is dedicated to my personal walk volunteering and guiding families.
Some moments are impossibly hard, yet deeply sacred. Families deserve to know they do not walk through them alone.
This page shares my personal volunteer journey, experiences, and advocacy work supporting families experiencing pregnancy and infant loss. It is not an official website of NILMDTS and is not intended to provide official organizational guidance, policies, services, or volunteer requirements.
For current information, family services, volunteer opportunities, dispatch support, and official resources, please visit the official NILMDTS website.
A Story about Love, Memory, and Why Remembrance Matters
In 2005, my son Evan was born and forever changed my heart.
After losing him at just 40 days old, I came to understand how precious photographs and small moments become. Tiny details that once felt ordinary suddenly became priceless little fingers, sleepy smiles, the way someone looked at their baby, the feeling of holding them close.
Years later, that experience became part of the reason I began serving with Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep.
Today, I help support families walking through unimaginable loss with compassion, gentleness, and remembrance, because every baby matters and every family deserves to have memories to hold onto.
Losing Evan changed the course of my life.
Grief has a way of reshaping everything, the way you see the world, the way you hold memories, and the way you care for others.
Over time, healing led me toward supporting families facing unimaginable loss through remembrance photography and compassionate presence.
That is why this work matters so deeply to me.
Honoring Evan’s Life
One of the things grief has taught me is that love does not end when someone is gone. It simply changes shape.
Over the years, our family has found gentle ways to continue including Evan in our lives, especially on the days that feel the heaviest and the most meaningful. We have learned that remembrance does not always have to look big or elaborate. Sometimes it is found in quiet traditions, intentional moments, and simply speaking his name.
Each year, we honor Evan’s birthday and the anniversary of his passing in ways that help us feel connected to him as a family. Some years that looks like visiting special places, lighting candles, releasing lanterns, or spending intentional time together creating something in his memory. Other years, it looks quieter.
One tradition that has become especially meaningful to us is our Build-A-Bear tradition.
Each year, we create a new bear in Evan’s honor.
We make the bear as a family, and dress the bear in what Evan Could have grown up to be. From Professional sports, doctor, fireman, to the President.
Some years have been made very special by employees at Build a Bear. Other years words have hit differently and those years it is harder to hold back tears.
We now have 21 bears.
Over time, those bears have become tangible reminders of love, memory, and the passage of time.
What began as one small act of remembrance slowly grew into a collection filled with meaning and healing.
Each year on Evan’s anniversary weekend, we come together as a family to create something meaningful in his honor. Along with planting a garden together every year, we also choose a special family project, small acts of love, remembrance, and togetherness that help keep his memory woven gently into our lives.
Over the years, these traditions have included painting remembrance rocks inspired by favorite childhood books, building and stocking a little free library for our community, and finding fun creative ways to honor the love that continues.
At Christmas time, we have another tradition that has become deeply meaningful to our family.
Every year, Santa places a new Winnie the Pooh ornament inside Evan’s stocking.
His siblings take turns each year being the one who gets to look inside his stocking and discover the ornament waiting there for him.
Then together, we place it on Evan’s tiny remembrance Christmas tree that sits on our fireplace mantle throughout the season.
What began as a small tradition slowly became something sacred to our family, a quiet way of reminding each other that Evan is still woven into our holidays, our memories, and our home.
Over the years, that little tree has become filled with ornaments, stories, tears, smiles, and moments of reflection. It gives his siblings a way to actively honor their brother, even years later, and creates space for conversations, memories, and love that continue across time.
For our family, remembrance has never been about staying stuck in grief.
It has been about continuing to love him openly and intentionally in the life we continue living together.
This year, we decided as a family to create “adventure treasures” for Evan's birthday going forward , small keepsakes, photos, and meaningful items collected during these family adventures we wish he could physically be here to experience with us. Each year on his birthday we will decide as a family what we would like to do, where we would like to visit. It will become a gentle way of continuing to include him in our family story. As we have decided that our Build a Bear trips have come to a natural end and a new beginning to honor Evan was to build a treasure box to hold these memories in.
I share this not because there is a right or wrong way to grieve, but because I want other families to know there is no timeline for remembrance. Love continues. Memories continue. Finding personal ways to honor a child can become part of healing over time.
Every family remembers differently.
Every way of remembering is deeply personal and valid.
This is the Journey that Shaped my Compassion
Grief Changed My Heart ~ Compassion Gave It Purpose
Grief has a way of changing how you see people, pain, and the moments that matter most.
Over time, healing led me toward supporting other families walking through loss. What once felt impossible slowly became part of the compassion I now carry into this work every day.
Through Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep, I help support families during deeply sacred moments by helping coordinate remembrance photography with gentleness, dignity, and care.
I understand how meaningful these images become because I understand what it means to hold onto memories.
That understanding shapes the way I serve.
Sometimes the people most called to comfort others are the ones who understand the weight of remembrance firsthand.
What began in grief slowly became a heart for helping other families feel less alone.
From Volunteer Dispatcher to Volunteer Area Coordinator
My journey with remembrance photography volunteer work began in 2018, many years after losing my son Evan to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).
What started as a quiet desire to help other families slowly became one of the most meaningful parts of my life.
I first began serving behind the scenes as a Dispatcher, helping coordinate communication between hospitals, photographers, volunteers, and families during some of life’s most fragile moments.
Much of the work happened quietly in the background, answering calls, helping sessions come together, supporting volunteers, and helping families receive compassionate care when they needed it most.
Over the years, this work deeply shaped me.
I learned that sometimes the most meaningful support comes through calm presence, gentle communication, and simply helping families feel less alone in moments that feel impossible to carry.
As time went on, I became more involved in outreach, volunteer support, awareness efforts, and helping strengthen connections throughout Oklahoma. In 2026, I was honored to step into the volunteer role of Area Coordinator for the Oklahoma City and Tulsa areas.
This role allows me to continue supporting families while also helping encourage, guide, and support the volunteers who make this mission possible.
What means the most to me is not a volunteer title, but the people behind this mission, the families bravely walking through grief, the other volunteers serving with compassion, and the reminder that every baby’s life matters deeply, no matter how brief.
This volunteer work has never been about photography alone.
It has always been about remembrance, love, dignity, and making sure families know they do not have to walk through these moments alone.
Volunteer Appreciation
One of the most meaningful parts of serving as a volunteer Area Coordinator has been witnessing the compassion, gentleness, and dedication of the people behind this mission.
Behind every remembrance session are volunteers quietly giving their time, talents, and hearts to families walking through unimaginable grief. Photographers, dispatchers, retouch artists, coordinators, medical professionals, and advocates all come together with one shared purpose, to help families feel supported, cared for, and never alone.
I have watched volunteers step into hospital rooms with tenderness and dignity, answer difficult calls with compassion, stay up late helping coordinate sessions, and carefully preserve memories that families may treasure forever.
This work is emotional, sacred, and deeply human.
What continues to inspire me most is the love behind it all, people serving not for recognition, but because they genuinely want families to know their baby mattered and their memories deserve to be honored with care.
To every volunteer who quietly walks alongside grieving families:
thank you.
Your kindness leaves lasting impact far beyond what words can fully express.
Raising Awareness
Part of my volunteer journey has included helping raise awareness about the importance of remembrance photography, compassionate care, memory-making, and supporting families through some of life’s most heartbreaking moments.
I believe education matters, not only for families, but also for communities, medical professionals, volunteers, and the people walking alongside those experiencing loss.
Whether through sharing resources, supporting outreach efforts, encouraging remembrance, or simply creating space for honest conversations, I hope this work continues helping bring comfort, understanding, and gentleness to families who need it most.
Gentle Support During Unimaginable Moments
NILMDTS provides remembrance photography for families experiencing the loss of a baby.
Professional volunteer photographers and digital retouch artists help families preserve meaningful memories through gentle, respectful images created with compassion and care.
These photographs often become treasured keepsakes that help families remember the love they shared with their baby.
For many families, remembrance photographs become some of their most treasured keepsakes. Over time, these images are often lovingly preserved in heirloom albums, framed portraits, memory boxes, jewelry, ornaments, and special remembrance spaces throughout the home. What may begin as a photograph often becomes a lasting connection, a tangible reminder of love, presence, and the moments families never want to forget.
These moments can feel overwhelming and uncertain, families are always encouraged to reach out gently and without hesitation, even if they are unsure whether services may be available.
The dispatch team is there to walk alongside families with compassion, answer questions, and help guide them through available support and remembrance options with care and understanding.
If your family is walking through pregnancy or infant loss, please know you are not alone. The dispatch line is open 24 hours for voicemails. It is answered between 9am and 10pm
405-548-3868
For Hospital Care Teams
Supporting Families With Compassion, Dignity & Remembrance
NILMDTS works alongside hospitals, nurses, physicians, bereavement teams, and care providers to help support families experiencing pregnancy and infant loss through remembrance photography.
We understand these moments are deeply emotional for families and care teams alike. Our goal is to provide gentle, respectful support while helping families preserve meaningful memories of their baby.
Volunteer photographers and dispatchers work with compassion, professionalism, and sensitivity during these sacred moments.
How NILMDTS Helps Families
Complimentary remembrance photography sessions
Professionally edited black-and-white heirloom images
Secure online galleries for families
Retouching support when a photographer is unavailable
Compassionate communication with families and care teams
Family-centered support during difficult moments
Volunteer Availability
NILMDTS volunteer dispatch is generally available between
9AM and 10 PM local time.
Calls are returned as quickly as possible, and every effort is made to support families with gentleness, dignity, and care.
When A Photographer Is Not Available
If an in-person photographer is unavailable, hospitals and families may still be able to receive support through the NILMDTS retouching program using personal or hospital-taken photographs.
Even simple photographs can become treasured memories for grieving families.
A Gentle Reminder For Care Teams
Families often do not know what they may want or need in the middle of grief. Simple opportunities to hold, photograph, and remember their baby can become incredibly meaningful in the days, months, and years ahead.
Your compassion matters more than you know.
Serving Oklahoma City & Tulsa
Susan Honaker serves with NILMDTS as a volunteer Area Coordinator for the Oklahoma City and Tulsa areas, as well as a longtime Dispatcher and Community Volunteer.
Her work is rooted in compassion, remembrance, and lived experience supporting families walking through loss.
Become Part of the Mission
NILMDTS is always looking for compassionate volunteer photographers in the Oklahoma City and Tulsa areas who feel called to serve families during some of the most sacred and difficult moments of their lives.
Many of our volunteers come from photography backgrounds, healthcare, ministry, parenthood, advocacy, or simply a desire to help others in a meaningful way. What matters most is a gentle heart, compassion, professionalism, and the willingness to walk carefully into moments that require great sensitivity and care.
If you think this could be you, NILMDTS offers a volunteer training program designed to help photographers feel prepared, supported, and equipped to serve families with dignity and compassion.
Volunteers are never expected to walk into this work alone. Training, guidance, editing support, dispatch coordination, and a caring community are all part of the mission.
Whether you are an experienced professional photographer or someone who feels deeply drawn toward remembrance work, we would love for you to learn more.
How Remembrance Sessions Are Gently Guided
When a family reaches out to NILMDTS, the goal is to provide calm, compassionate support while preserving meaningful memories with great care and dignity.
Every situation is unique, and sessions are always centered around the needs and comfort of the family.
Whenever possible, a trained volunteer photographer is connected with the family or hospital to create a gentle remembrance session. If a photographer is unavailable, NILMDTS may still be able to help through the Retouching Program using photographs taken by loved ones or medical staff.
Families are never rushed through these moments.
The focus is simply to create space for connection, love, and remembrance.
What it Means to me to Volunteer
This work matters to me because I understand, firsthand, how deeply fleeting moments can become lifelong treasures.
In 2005, my son Evan lived for only 40 days before we lost him to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). That experience forever changed the way I see grief, love, memory, and the importance of preserving even the smallest moments we have with the people we love most.
Years later, after healing, therapy, and learning how to carry grief differently, I found myself drawn toward supporting other families walking unimaginable roads. What began as volunteering quietly grew into years of service supporting remembrance photography efforts, helping behind the scenes as a dispatcher, and eventually serving families and volunteers in the Oklahoma City and Tulsa areas as a volunteer Area Coordinator.
For me, it is about honoring a baby’s existence.
It is about giving families something tangible to hold onto when everything else feels impossible.
It is about creating space for love, dignity, remembrance, and connection during some of life’s most heartbreaking moments.
I have learned that remembrance photos often become far more than images over time. They become framed heirlooms, memory boxes, lock-screen photos, albums shared with siblings years later, ornaments at Christmas, treasured keepsakes for grandparents, and gentle reminders that a child’s life mattered deeply and will always be remembered.
Through this journey, I have also witnessed the incredible compassion of volunteers, nurses, photographers, retouch artists, and families who show up for one another with extraordinary kindness during unimaginable circumstances.
This page exists simply to share my personal volunteer journey, help raise awareness, and gently guide families or healthcare professionals toward official remembrance photography resources if they ever need them.
Every baby matters.
Every family matters.
Every moment matters.
⚖️ Disclaimer:
Website Disclaimer & Image Use Notice
The content shared throughout this website is intended to provide information, awareness, remembrance support, advocacy, and personal storytelling related to pregnancy and infant loss, epilepsy advocacy, family experiences, and volunteer service.
The personal photographs, remembrance images, family stories, written content, graphics, and advocacy materials shared on this website are deeply personal and are shared with purpose, and care.
All photographs of my son Evan, my children, my family, and personal remembrance experiences are protected intellectual and emotional property and may not be copied, downloaded, reproduced, altered, redistributed, used for training datasets, AI image generation, commercial projects, publications, social media reposting, or any other use without explicit written permission.
This includes:
remembrance photographs
personal family photographs
advocacy graphics
blog content
written stories
educational materials
website imagery
branding visuals
related graphics created for this website
These materials are shared to help support, educate, encourage remembrance, and bring awareness to families experiencing grief and loss. They are not intended for unauthorized reproduction, promotional use, media use, redistribution, or AI training purposes.
This website is independently created and maintained by Susan Honaker and is not officially operated, sponsored, managed, or directly affiliated with Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep (NILMDTS). The information shared throughout this website is intended to help provide awareness, education, advocacy, and guidance directing families, volunteers, medical professionals, and visitors toward the official NILMDTS organization and resources.
For official NILMDTS information, services, volunteer applications, or organizational policies, please visit the official website:
www.NowILayMeDownToSleep.org
The views, writings, advocacy efforts, and personal experiences shared on this website reflect my own personal experiences and volunteer service and do not necessarily represent official NILMDTS organizational statements unless specifically stated.
If you are a medical professional, volunteer, organization, media outlet, or individual wishing to reference or share any content from this website, please contact me directly for permission.
Thank you for honoring these memories, and the sacredness of remembrance.
